When Are We Better Off Alone?

photo by Alejandra Mavroski

“‘Tis better to be alone, than in bad company.” -George Washington

Some of us like being alone more than others. I’m in the former camp. Me, a book, a burger, and a beer? Beautiful! There are few things I like better than slipping away for an evening out by myself to relish anonymity and quiet among the crowds.

When I think of us echoing George Washington’s words–perhaps to our children–I think that sometimes words are easy for us to say simply because they’re catchy. We hear a phrase we like, we latch onto it and repeat it without ever stopping to think about what it really means.

But when George Washington says, “’Tis better to be alone, than in bad company,” what does he mean by “bad company”? Who defines “bad”? Because none of us really think we’re spending our free time hanging out with shady characters, do we?

As I thought about this idea, I considered my own friendships. I thought about the ebb and flow, about how sometimes I take more and sometimes I give more. I thought about the time I sat across from my girlfriend and poured my parenting heart out while she listened and encouraged me to hang in there. I thought about the time I spent comforting another friend, whose husband decided that 15 years of marriage was enough for him. I thought about how this ebb and flow is critical to long-term friendship, because none of us can be on the giving side all of the time. And if you’re not taking sometimes, you’re not giving your friends the opportunity to really know you, so you’re not developing a long-term friendship after all. You’re just having coffee.

As I pondered this, I began to wonder about those people—the ones who are always givers or always takers—and I wondered if they fall in the “bad company” category?

Would it be better to spend time alone?

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2 thoughts on “When Are We Better Off Alone?

  1. i dearly love to be alone, particularly since it happens so infrequently what with a husband, a child, a job. i’d be so happy to have a week at home alone.

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