Category Archives: books

Three Cups of Tea and A Fine Balance: Worth Being "Weird" For

     

                   

I’ve been in the same book club for a little over five years now, which in itself isn’t that surprising.  Lots of women are in book clubs.  Even Oprah has a book club.  But the biggest difference I’ve ascertained is that in my book club we actually discuss the books.  (Not saying Oprah doesn’t; we all know she does!)  That my group discusses the books shouldn’t be surprising, either, because that’s the idea behind a book club.  Read, gather, discuss.  But, by far, the most frequent complaint I hear from other friends in other book clubs is, “We never get around to the book.  We all sit around drinking wine and socializing all night.  I didn’t even bother to read the book for this month!”

Occasionally, there will be one or two members of our book club who haven’t finished the book for the month, but hardly ever without good reason.  Tough deadlines, heavy travel, illness.  I don’t know that I’ve ever heard someone say, “Well, I just didn’t get around to it.”  Our group comprises two professors, several business owners, working moms, single women, and stay-at-home moms.  Our ages range from oh, I don’t know, probably mid-thirties to mid-sixties, which creates wonderfully diverse discussions.  Because we are in many different stages of life and have such different vocations, we don’t get mired down in naptime and diaper discussions, which is easy to do when you gather with same-stage-of-life friends.  We’re not anti-social, of course.  We show up, we pour the wine, we laugh for a bit, and usually within half an hour one of us says, “Hey, should we get started?”  And the thing is, we do.  Everyone wants to.  We love books, and we’re there to share what we think, and to learn what everyone else thinks, about the book we just read.

We choose our books thoughtfully, usually twice a year.  Because we live in West Michigan, with snowy winters that encourage lots of reading by the fireplace, and sunny, bright, summers that don’t, we choose one long book for the summer and don’t meet during June, July, and August.  In May, we all bring some suggestions—books that have been recommended to us, books our mothers loved, books we saw at the library, or books we heard reviewed—and we sort through them, toss out ideas, and choose enough books to get us through Christmastime.  Then, at the December meeting, we do it all over again and choose the books for the rest of the year.  This May, however, we had so many great books to choose from, and such enthusiasm, that we actually chose books for the entire year.   A definite first!  We’re all looking forward to relaxing by the fire with spiced wine or cider while we enjoy a little more time dissecting November’s book choice.

We are deliberate about the books we choose, and try to read an amalgam of fiction, non-fiction, business, biography, and the rest.  Although I’m sure that most of us pick up some beachy-reads in the summer, our summer book club selection isn’t one.  A few years ago we picked two for the summer, and each read one or the other (a couple very ambitious members read both):  John Adams, by David McCullough and Theodore Rex, by Edmund Morris.  I can confirm that if you take a very large, hardcover, John Adams to the pool, you will be relegated to the “very weird” category by all of the other women there with their Janet Evanovich

One of the books we read this year, Three Cups of Tea, is Greg Mortenson’s story about how failing to climb a Himalayan peak called K2 changed the course of his life.  The book is about his promise to a Pakistani village to return and build a school, for girls, in their remote, isolated village.  It’s about his decision, his trials, his perseverance, his wife.  He succeeded in building that first school (don’t worry, that doesn’t ruin the book for you; read it anyway), and has gone on to build 73 more with the help of his Central Asia Institute.  Nicholas Kristof wroten an article in the NY Times last Sunday, It Takes a School, Not Missles, which admittedly has a political slant, but nonetheless sums up Greg Mortenson’s accomplishments quite nicely. 

Three Cups of Tea probably isn’t a book I would’ve picked up on my own.  Nor is A Fine Balance, by Rohinton Mistry which has become one of my all-time favorites, or Zadie Smith’s White Teeth, which everyone else loved but was one of the few books, in all these years, that I didn’t connect with.  Exposure to books that are off my radar, hearing opinions and ideas that rub the edges of mine, and the joy of knowing these women and sharing these books with them is worth the sleep I miss when I’m still finishing a book at 1:00 AM the night before book club.  Or being put in the “very weird” category when I’m reading at the pool.  Definitely worth it.

Daddy’s Super Summer Reading List (for kids)

School’s almost out!  You know what that means, right moms?  Get out your entertaining hat, because the kids are heading straight for b-o-r-e-d city.  You might start out with high hopes, thinking that your (naturally) above average children will make their own fun.  They’ll play in the yard, explore the great outdoors, and find numerous ways to entertain themselves.  Of course they will.  At least for the first day, the first hour, or the first few minutes.  But unless you’ve got some sort of mama magic the rest of us don’t know about, sooner or later, you’re bound to hear, “We’re sooooo bored.  B-o-r-e-d, bored.”  Play in the yard, you’ll suggest.  Climb some trees.  Ahhh, the good old days.  “Seriously, mom, get a clue.”

But before you give in and break out that Wii, why don’t you try some good old-fashioned books.  No, no, don’t click away yet.  It’s a good idea—keep reading, you’ll see!  Books can entertain in a way that nothing else can.  They tell kids stories that they have to “see” in their minds, they include vocabulary that sticks with kids more than a simple list of words ever will, and they have adventures that take your child around the world and through time, all while sipping lemonade Propel in the hammock.

Now if your kids despise reading, you’re going to want to tailor this program.  Obviously, you’re not going to pick 20 books for that child.  The goal here isn’t torture, or even quantity, for that matter.  It’s enjoyment.  If your son reads one book this summer, and absolutely loves it, does it really matter how many words he reads?  It’s not a contest, people, it’s a lifelong gift.  And also, if you’re lucky, it’s a few minutes of peace and quiet for you.

So here’s how it works.  I do nothing.  Nope, not involved at ALL.  My husband spends hours (!) online sifting through book lists for kids, remembering old favorites, and reading new book reviews.  Then he chooses about 15 books for each of our boys to read over summer break.  Fifteen!!!  I hear you, all of you, yelling at me right now, at the SAME time.  But our boys really look forward to getting their list.  They love to read the books Daddy selects (or, in the case of the youngest, to have me read them), so 15 isn’t an issue.  But as I mentioned above, the number of books totally doesn’t matter.  Aim low, make the goals easy, so next year your kids will be excited to get the list, not hiding from you for days on end, hoping to escape.  (I know what some of you are thinking…I could get days of peace and quiet that way…)

For 4 or 5 of the books, there’s some sort of coordinating activity.  For example, Daddy might assign Draw a picture, Tell the family about it, or Do a book report.  The only “assignment” I ever took issue with was YEAR 1 of the Super Summer Reading list, when Daddy assigned “Paint a picture.”  Since Daddy was nowhere to be found when painting time came along, there were a few friendly marital words when he arrived home.  If I recall correctly it was either, “Sweetheart, what a fabulous idea,” or something along the lines of “What on earth were you thinking?  I don’t ever want to see paint something on this list again.” My poor children will all be craft-challenged because Mommy is not a fan of glitter or paint.  But on the bright side, they can read, right?!

So here is a sample—SAMPLE ONLY—do not feel compelled to use any of these books. Go with what your children enjoy so you can actually sneak off with a book of your own from time to time. Daddy prints a cool color list with graphics and a brief description of each book, which is another reason Daddy is in charge of this program.  He is much better at making things look fun and exciting than I am!  You’ll notice that last summer they had a READ WITH DAD book, because Dad thought it would be very cool to read the boys all the cool tricks from that particular book.  And I did read a few books out loud with everyone that aren’t on anyone’s list (Cricket in Times Square and Tucker’s Countryside, by George Selden, if you’re interested.)  And, at the end of every list, there is always a SPECIAL NIGHT—maybe a campout, maybe a trip to the local house-of-fun with bumper cars, laser tag, and more Sprite than any child should ever consume.  Whatever it is, we make sure it’s fun for everyone, and the three boys can’t wait to see what this year’s surprise will be.

 Boy #1 (10 years old, but avid reader)

The Young Man and the Sea, W. R. Philbrick          

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien           

Stowaway, Karen Hesse     

The Pirates of Pompeii, Caroline Lawrence—BOOK REPORT

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, J.R.R. Tolkien—DRAW A PICTURE

The Shakespeare Stealer, Gary Blackwood           

Walking the Bible, Bruce Feiler           

Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card           

Last Shot: A Final Four Mystery, John Feinstein           

Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz           

Eragon, Christopher Paolini            

The Dangerous Book for Boys, Conn and Hal Iggulden—READ WITH DAD

Al Capone Does My Shirts, Gennifer Choldenko           

The Lord of the Rings:  The Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien           

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling—SPECIAL NIGHT!

 

Boy #2 (8 years old)

Hero of the Third Grade, Alice DeLaCroix           

Indian in the Cupboard, Lynn Reid Banks           

American Tall Tales, Mary Pope Osborne 

It’s Raining Pigs and Noodles: Poems, Jack Prelutsky—RECITE A POEM 

Time Cat, Lloyd Alexander           

Pegasus, Marianna Mayer—DRAW A PICTURE

T is for Touchdown: A Football Alphabet, Brad Herzog

White Water, P.J. Peterson           

The Homework Machine, Dan Gutman

Mayor of Central Park, Avi           

Balls!, Michael J. Rosen —BOOK REPORT

The Dangerous Book for Boys,  Conn and Hal Iggulden—READ WITH DAD

The Giggler Treatment, Roddy Doyle

The Day I Swapped my Dad for Two Goldfish, Neil Gaiman          

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling—SPECIAL NIGHT!

  Boy #3 (almost 5 years old)      

I Wanna Iguana, Karen Orloff

A Mud Pie for Mother, Scott Beck           

Baa-Choo!, Sarah Weeks—DRAW A PICTURE

Duck’s Key: Where can it be?, Jez Alborough           

Piggy Riddles, Katy Hall           

Froggy Plays Soccer, Jonathan London           

The Seals on the Bus, Lenny Hort—DRAW A PICTURE

Chuck’s Truck, Peggy Perry Anderson           

We’re Sailing to Galapagos: A Week in the Pacific, Laurie Krebs

How I Became a Pirate, Melinda Long—BOOK REPORT

Who Wants A Dragon?, James Mayhew           

A Giraffe and a Half, Shel Silverstein—TELL THE FAMILY

Honeybees, Deborah Heiligman           

The Cow Who Clucked, Denise Fleming           

Olivia – and the Missing Toy, Ian Falconer—DRAW A PICTURE

Of course, if your children are too young to read to themselves, you probably want to throw a book at me right now.  “Well, that’s nice,” you’re thinking, “but what about me?”  I admit that kids do have to grow into this program for you to experience complete peace and quiet.  However—and I know I sound like your grandma here—this is where the old “stitch in time” expression comes in.  By spending the time reading TO them now, you’ll be a step ahead of the game in a few years, when they can’t wait to read the stories on their own.  My youngest doesn’t read yet, and he’s gotten his own Super Summer Reading List from Daddy for two years running.  And next summer, man, I’m golden.  And I call the hammock.