Category Archives: cottage

Simple Rules for Summer Visitors

July 7, 2009cottage, friendship, lists, summerKirsetin

During the summer at the lake, we have lots and lots of visitors. We’re lucky and we have fun friends with excellent manners. But apparently, everyone isn’t so lucky. In talking to some other friends with lake houses, I’ve discovered just how fortunate we are. I was shocked to find out how, umm, impolite some of their guests are. So here, courtesy of my thoughtful friends and houseguests, are some Simple Rules for Summer Visitors:

Mi casa es su casa. This old saying, which, if somehow you don’t know, means My house is your house, is more than an offer of hospitality. It’s an offer to fully participate. My friend Sharee’ is great at this: she jumps right in and helps, without ever having to be asked. She helps make meals, she helps with kids, she helps pour drinks…whatever we’re doing, she chips right in. I love her for it. Take a tip from Sharee’ and stop waiting to be waited on. Get your own darn drink. And pour one for me, too, please. I’m thirsty.
Bring something. Think about the time of day/days you’ll be visiting. My other friend, Janet, wouldn’t dream of showing up without something in hand. Usually, a lovely bottle of wine, but often something else, too. When I have a bunch of friends over for dinner, for example, they all bring something. It’s summer. I don’t work here. Thank goodness they know that! If your friends don’t, give them this lesson from Janet: don’t show up empty handed.
Clean up after yourself. Surely, your mother taught you this lesson when you were barely entering kindergarten. But perhaps you’ve forgotten. Or perhaps you’re lazy. Whatever the case, strive to be more like my friend Sheri, who has the kitchen cleaned up before I can clear all the plates. It’s so easy to have her visit because she isn’t sitting in the living room with her gin & tonic while I’m rinsing dishes and stuffing them into the dishwasher. She’s standing right next to me in the kitchen, both filling that dishwasher as fast as we can, while we enjoy our G&Ts with our other hand.
Beach fare. If you’ll be visiting and heading to the beach with kids, it’s always nice to bring snacks and drinks to share. Or, at the very least, bring a few treats for your own kids. Either way works. But if you bring nothing, everyone else is sharing their snacks with your kids, who are standing there looking sad and hungry when the popcorn and Pringles come out, but who have nothing to offer in return. It’s sort of pathetic.
Take some time. If you are a multi-day and multi-night visitor, please feel free to enjoy some time on your own. Most hostesses, although I will admit, not all, love it when week-long guests go off to explore on their own for awhile. My aunt and uncle were here for a long weekend, and they thought nothing of walking into town for breakfast on their own or taking a drive through the country. Although I wasn’t hoping they’d leave, it did give me the chance to get a few things done while they were gone. I’m sure they enjoyed a little time on their own, and I appreciated having a little space, too. Our friends the Joneses are also good at this. When they came to visit for a week, they took two different day trips to nearby sights. Perfect. They get to see some of what they want. We get to keep some sort of routine. All of us enjoy drinks together in the evening, and still enjoy several days in one another’s company. Now that’s what I call a lovely visit.

If You Find A Tiny Piece of Rotten Wood…

May 26, 2009cottage, hard work, home projects, kid's choresKirsetin

I took the day off from blogging yesterday, but Heather said what I would’ve said anyway. With two words, and two images, she said it all. Thanks, Heather.

And because I am a girl who likes to relax on her holidays, a girl who really believes in life balance and taking time off, I spent yesterday lounging by the pool, watching my kids frolic, and enjoying the frosty beverage in my hand. Ahhh, the peace.

Oh wait, no, that’s not right. What I meant was that I spent the day scraping and mixing and painting and sweating.

I did enjoy watching my kids, but they weren’t frolicking so much as moaning about the injustice of having to dig and pull weeds all afternoon.

At one point, my eldest claimed a stomachache. It’s fair to say that his paint-covered, suspicious parents didn’t show much empathy for the shirker. Get back to work, buddy, and here—take this barf bag with you, just in case. Funny how he recovered so quickly.

Since we were planning such a big workday yesterday, you might think we took it easy when my mom and dad came into town last week. Well, you’d think. Also, you might think we’d consider their long drive, that we’d wonder if they were tired, or wanted to do something fun. Or, you might think I’m the kind of daughter that says, “Hey dad, can you help me repair this tiny little rotten wood around our door frame?”

If you thought the latter, you’d be right.

And if you’ve ever had a tiny little rotten piece of wood around your door frame, you know the rest of the story, right? There is NEVER a tiny little rotten piece of wood. It’s ALWAYS hiding a bigger problem. My suggestion? Ignore it. Paint over it. Look the other way. But, dear Lord, don’t ask your dad to take it out, because you will end up with this.

And then this.

The good news is that in the end both the door frame and the paint job look good. But I am definitely ignoring that other tiny little piece of rotting wood. Definitely.

So That’s What Friends Are For

May 18, 2009cottage, friendshipKirsetin

There are so many things I treasure about my close friends that it’s hard to name just a few. Women around the world know this, I think. They understand that time spent with girlfriends has an un-nameable quality. There’s something we can’t quite put our manicured fingers on. (I know, I know, mine aren’t manicured, but most of theirs are!) These elements are nearly univeral. Laughter. Wine. Honesty. Wine. Soul Bearing Conversation. Light-Hearted Companionship. Understanding. Wine. Affirmation. Assurance that we are definitely right and that other person is definitely wrong. And, we look fine. Skinny even. With good hair. Whatever it is that happens there, when girlfriends gather, it touches our souls.

Men, on the other hand, well, I can’t really speak to that. My husband is never, ever going to give a lengthy discourse about bromance and the importance of manly friendships; nor will he mention the touching of souls; it’s very safe to say he won’t ever publish any kind of touchy-feely men’s book. He loves his friends. I know this. But he’s never gonna say it.

As a sort-of related aside, I recently listened to someone, very unlike my husband, pitch a book idea to an editor. Both the author and editor were men – and the conversation went something like this:

“So, what I’m thinking is this. I’m thinking that as men we need to get in touch with our feminine side. We’ve really lost the ability to share deeply with one another in a really real way.

“Oh, right, I’m with you. Sounds like a good idea. Tell me more.”

“Well, my book will address how we men fail each other regularly because we don’t open ourselves up to those woman-like feelings and share them with each other.”

“That sounds like a great concept. I’d like to see more.”

Huh? Seriously. This really happened. And I sat there thinking, “What? What?” Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for men sharing feelings and sending flowers, and possibly even buying me a convertible one day, but that? That’s a great book idea? Lord give me strength. Help me persevere through the wilderness, the impossible-to-understand world that is publishing. Amen.

Okay, back to the story.

Although my husband won’t be writing a book like that anytime soon, or ever, he does have a close-knit group of friends. Some of these guys gave up their weekend—time they could’ve spent with their families, or golfing, or taking a really long nap—to repair a leak in the roof of our carriage house. In the beginning, it was a leaking, rotting, termite-filled hazard.