Category Archives: Parenting

The Morning Shift

September 16, 2008kids, ParentingKirsetin

So it’s come to this: kids in shifts. No, honey, not the dress kind of shift. I’m talking about the we-all-have-to-be-at-school-at-different-times kind of shift. This summer, we enjoyed lazy morning that didn’t really get started until close to noon.

We played at the beach,

took dares on the tube,

raced go-carts,

and ate lots of cake.

Here’s what morning looks like now:

Yep, that’s me. That’s my basic disposition after getting my 6 year-old up at 6:40 and out the door at 7:15. That’s how I still feel when I wake my 12-year old at 7:15, to get him outside by 8:05. And, I must admit, the bear is still hanging around at 7:40 when I wake my 9-year old, the most difficult of the bunch to rouse—he’s been blessed with my early morning chipperness—and walk him to his bus at 8:20.

How long until summer break?

And, on an entirely different and less-bear-like note, can you believe it? It’s been a whole year out here in blogland. Happy Blogoversary to me!

Taming Morning Chaos With Kids: Mission Impossible?

September 4, 2008chores, kid's chores, Parenting, politicsKirsetin

Over at Midwest Parents today, Heather asked the question: how do you tame the morning chaos? Her kids are six, four, and brand-spankin’ new—so I’m going to roll back the tape a few years and you’ll all know how anal I really am.

Step 1: Buy a big bright posterboard. Pretend this is a fun project, because kids love it and you need it. On a separate piece of paper, make a list of all of the things your kids can do themselves in the morning, before they come down for breakfast. Ideas: put on clothes, brush teeth, make bed, put away books, turn off the light (please!). Get out your parenting magazines and have your child clip away. Find pictures to represent the “Good-Morning Jobs” and paste them onto the posterboard, with the name of each job printed just beneath. Hang this in their room(s) so they can take a look each morning and start the day off right. See how you can breathe a little easier already?

Step 2: Buy plastic containers to store cereal, that kids can pour themselves without having the entire box dumped on the table. Buy a small pitcher for the fridge and fill it about halfway with milk, again, so they can pour it themselves. My kids were 3 ½ and 5 when I started this, and they did just fine. I was desperate—trying to nurse my baby, and get the other two ready for school. This one little change saved our mornings.

Step 3: When you tuck the kids into bed, do not turn on Wife Swap, peek into Twitter, or see what Land’s End has on sale this week. Do whatever you can to prep for the morning: if you can live with it, let your kids choose their own outfit and take this one right off your own plate; pre-set the breakfast dishes; make sure the cereal & milk pitchers are ready to go; backpacks and shoes—can you find them? If so, choose your poison: twitter away, find out who’s swapping this week, or buy that sweater. If not, find them. You’ll thank yourself in the morning.

Step 4: Please note: I am a total hypocrite to suggest this one, as I have never quite mastered it: get up and take a shower before the kids need to be awake. (If they’re up but don’t need to be, let them play quietly for a few minutes while you jump start your day.) The days I do manage this, things go much more smoothly. I think the hot water melts that mean, grumpy feeling I get the second my alarm goes off. And as for the rest of the days, well, ask my friends Janet and Sharee’; I walked with them this morning–no shower first, still quite grumpy.

And on a final, completely unrelated note, I want to point you to mamabirddiaries, who kindly mentioned me last week, was quoted in an ABC News article about Sarah Palin earlier this week, and is one of the most amusing bloggers around. Enjoy!

To Free or Not to Free? How Do You Feel About "Free Range Kids"?

August 28, 2008ParentingKirsetin

We knew a family, for a couple of years, that was significantly less than stable. The dad was in and out of jail, the teen boys were living with their grandmother and likely running drugs, and I’m fairly certain that the 5-yr old, 3-yr old, and 1-yr old twins were left alone on a regular basis while the mom tried to hold things together. (Yes, yes, social services knew all about them. And, yes, we tried to help.) For the record, I’m not defending the mother, just giving my point of view. The entire situation was deplorable and broke my heart every single day. But an interesting thing I noticed was this: that little 5-year old was a survivor. Because of his sad situation, he knew how to take care of himself. He wandered the neighborhood at all hours, fed himself, and probably fed his younger siblings. Watching this little guy made me think about all of the things we do for our kids, that maybe they could do for themselves. It made me think about how closely we watch our children—and how little freedom we offer them—and wonder if we were doing them a favor or perhaps holding them back a little. But giving kids freedom—letting them out of our sight or leaving them on their own—goes against the grain. It can be more than a bit scary these days.

But some parents are doing it. Lenore Skenazy, for example, had the audacity to let her 9-year old son find his way home from the original Bloomies in NYC. The subway! The bus! Oh my! (And then she had the nerve to write about it in her column in the NY Sun.) Although many of us remember playing happily outside, unorganized play or unencumbered freedom for our kids is a rarity. Between guitar lessons, lacrosse practice, and reading prep, our kids are far too busy (getting ahead) to run around the neighborhood enjoying themselves. But even if they weren’t, most of us wouldn’t let them anyway. Out of our sight, I mean. Truly, who wants to end up explaining to Matt Lauer why we let our children ride their bikes with their friends, unsupervised, and out of sight… Tragic news stories regularly remind us that danger is lurking just beyond the safe haven we so carefully provide.

As a mom of three boys, I’ve had to look this “freedom vs. safety” thing squarely in the face, mostly because I am a BIG believer in “going out to play” and also because my oldest got to that age where allowing more freedom seemed like the sensible thing to do. Keeping them under wraps forever is not only implausible and impossible, but inadvisable, as well.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not a bit nervous. I am. So are most moms I know. We’re nervous about random childhood dangers. We’re nervous about pedophiles driving by in dark vans looking for sweet children to grab. We’re nervous about the news stories we hear about relationships with teachers and coaches and family friends gone wrong. So although I don’t know that I’m as brave as Ms. Skenazy, I do think she’s onto something. After writing her article and discovering what a hot issue this was, she started a website called Free Range Kids. Check it out, and see if you fall in the “for” or “against” category.

Thank you to fellow mom-blogger Scribbit, who mentioned this LA Times article in a recent tweet, which led me to Lenore Skenazy’s article. (For those of you not already addicted to Twitter, I’d advise staying away, unless you’re not already wasting enough time on Facebook. In that case, with time to spare, go for it!)