Category Archives: travel

How Travel Affects Whether We Wear Lipstick to the Bus Stop

May 2, 2012life, perspective, relationships, travel, Wise Wordslife, travel, wise wordsKirsetin

You read the “Why I’m Not A Dirty Mom” blog post, right? If some way, somehow, you missed it, well, there’s the link. In it, the writer explains why she prefers to look her best, whether she’s headed out for dinner or driving to the pre-school drop off line.

I watched the ensuing uproar with a touch of amusement. Must we always argue, ladies? If a girl likes to wear lipstick to the grocery store, I say let her wear lipstick. If another prefers yoga pants and a baseball cap, more power to her. One doesn’t diminish the other.

If you see me out and about I’ll be wearing high heels, flip flops, tennis shoes, leather boots, dark jeans, khaki capris, dresses (holla, Athleta), yoga pants, black pants, and who knows what else depending on the day. I have kids. I work. I like yoga. I play basketball. I have girlfriends I MUST meet for lunch. I don’t make the same effort every day. And this doesn’t bother me one bit.

My hair and clothes don’t define me.

And what does all of this have to do with travel, the theme I’m writing about this month? I’m glad you asked!

Here’s the quote for this week:

“When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” – William Least Heat-Moon (pen name of William Lewis Trogdon)

Stop and let that sink in.

“You are what you are right there and then.”

Fantastic. And I love this part:

“No yesterdays on the road.”

When we’re in a new place, with new people, they have no idea what we wore last week. They don’t know if we’re kind or cruel or a little loopy, either. There’s a weird kind of beauty in the not knowing, I think. Travel gives us space, a freedom to be our truest self.

I would argue, though, that the purpose of finding this self when we travel is to bring her home with us, to continue to pursue, and fully define, our own sense of self. Our values. Our important things. Instead of worrying about whether we “should” wear lipstick to the bus stop, we need to figure out if we want to wear lipstick to the bus stop. That, my friends, is the key. And it’s harder than it sounds.

But when we answer to our truest self, we’ll be one step closer to making decisions that are right for us. And one big step away from worrying about what anyone else thinks. Maybe it’s time to book a flight.

Have you experienced this kind of freedom when you’ve traveled? Leave your thoughts in the comments, or link up if you’d like to write your own post on these Wise Words.

Underoos and Life Perspective

April 18, 2012perspective, travel, Wise WordsKirsetin

When I was in the 7th grade and just barely out of Underoos, it felt like everyone at school knew I still had Wonder Woman panties scrunched up in the back of my dresser drawer. My 7-12 middle/high school in Virginia graduated a mere 27 seniors that year. For a budding teen, the biggest implication of this microcosm was that the world felt extremely small. Jeans too short? Still sleeping in kid pajamas? Trouble with a boy? In a time when so many things were uncertain, I was sure of this: Everyone knew everything.

Imagine my surprise when we moved to North Carolina and no one knew anything. As hard as it was to leave my friends and the close community of my small school (for a slightly less-small school, with 98 graduating seniors), our move south wedged open the door to the bigger world. The kids who were popular and prized at my school in Virginia were nobodies here. It took me awhile to grasp this significance but eventually I understood that the vastness of our own importance is tiny relative to the grand scale of our incredibly big world. Big stuff for a teenager.

I’ve written before about the perspective I believe travel brings to our lives, which is why I love this quote by French writer Gustave Flaubert:

“Travel makes one modest, you see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.”

We don’t need to go to Paris, France to experience this truth. Paris, Texas will do. In fact, I’d argue that you might not even need to leave your hometown. Spend some time volunteering—at a nearby food pantry or old-folks home—and you’ll step into a world adjacent to the one you inhabit every day. A world that never knew you existed, doesn’t hear the same gossip, doesn’t care about your social status or lack thereof. It’s eye-opening.

I learned early that my problems weren’t as big as they seemed, and that, shockingly!, although the neighbors may care, the wider world could give a rip about how my hair looks or what brand of jeans I wear. It was an enduring lesson for a 13-year old girl, and one I’m fortunate to be reminded whenever I step outside of my own tiny place in this very large world.

How has travel helped you gain perspective? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments, or write your own post about these Wise Words.

4 Tips for Traveling with Children

April 11, 2012travel, Wise Wordstips for travel, wise wordsKirsetin

Have you flown with your children? Driven 12 hours packed into a car between blankies and luggage and snacks? Have you slept in a small hotel room, with a toddler wedged in-between you and your spouse, and a baby sleeping (or not) in the crib a few inches away?

I have. And I laughed out loud when I read these Wise Words from humorist Robert Benchley:

“In America, there are two classes of travel:

First class, and with children.”

I’ve travelled with my kids an awful lot. In their short lives, they’ve been to 17 states and 5 other countries. We’ve driven long hours, flown long flights, rented houses, and seen world history come alive. We’ve hiked, lounged, and hit the sights. Sharing my love for travel with my children is one of the great joys in my life, but Benchley’s right: it’s not first class.

If you’re planning a trip with kids–and you haven’t travelled with them often–here are 4 things I’ve discovered that you might find helpful:

More space is better. For all of you. If you’re travelling with your spouse, or a girlfriend, all you need is a small suitcase and a bed to sleep in. But travelling with kids quadruples (at least) your luggage as well as the noise and messiness factors. If you’re taking a short trip, you can survive in one hotel room; if you can get a 2BR hotel suite, better yet. But if you’re taking off for a week or more, consider renting a house or apartment. True, you won’t have room service or a maid (although some properties do offer this feature), but you’ll have rooms galore. And sanity. It’s a good trade.

You won’t see everything, but you’ll see something you didn’t expect. When you travel with kids, you absolutely must shorten your sightseeing list. Sort the places you’d like to see into three categories: Must See; Really Hope to See; and This Would Be Nice to See. Plan your days around the Must-Sees, and if you end up with extra time, and a Hope-to-See or Nice-to-See is nearby, you’ll have a pleasant surprise. You’ll also be surprised at what you see that’s not on your list. Kids get hungry, have to go the bathroom, and need a mental break in the most unexpected places. Tending to their needs often means leaving the beaten track, which can lead you to the best, quiet park bench or most lovely, memorable restaurant that you never planned on seeing.

It’s a time warp. Nothing, and I mean nothing, takes the proper amount of time. Travel time, meals, waiting in line, finding a sight—add in extra time for all of it. If Google Maps tells you it’s a 5-hour drive, plan on 6 ½, especially if your kids are small. Even if your kids are older, I’d still plan on close to 6. If you arrive earlier, it’s a bonus, and either way you avoid starting off your trip feeling like “Hurry, hurry, we’re getting there late!”

Take a break. Part of the fun of vacation is that you’re out of your regular routine. And part of the difficulty of vacation is that you’re out of your regular routine! Small kids will need a nap, and bigger kids and grown-ups can benefit from some Quiet Time. During this time our kids can read, draw, or play with stickers—any quiet, solitary activity that doesn’t involve electronics is permitted. My husband and I usually read or nap, depending on that day’s adventures. If you’re taking a longer trip (1 week or more), I’d suggest building an entire day of downtime into your schedule. This doesn’t mean you have to sit home and read all day, but it’s a chance to stroll around the town and explore your surroundings without an agenda, without somewhere you have to be at a certain time. Everyone benefits from a little break, whether it’s 30-minutes of reading or a day of aimless ambling.

Do you have a different take on Benchley’s quote or another tip you’ve learned from traveling with kids? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments. If you want to write your own post, and link up, here are the Wise Words details.