Category Archives: Wise Words

How Travel Affects Whether We Wear Lipstick to the Bus Stop

life, perspective, relationships, travel, Wise Words, ,

You read the “Why I’m Not A Dirty Mom” blog post, right? If some way, somehow, you missed it, well, there’s the link. In it, the writer explains why she prefers to look her best, whether she’s headed out for dinner or driving to the pre-school drop off line.

I watched the ensuing uproar with a touch of amusement. Must we always argue, ladies? If a girl likes to wear lipstick to the grocery store, I say let her wear lipstick. If another prefers yoga pants and a baseball cap, more power to her. One doesn’t diminish the other.

If you see me out and about I’ll be wearing high heels, flip flops, tennis shoes, leather boots, dark jeans, khaki capris, dresses (holla, Athleta), yoga pants, black pants, and who knows what else depending on the day. I have kids. I work. I like yoga. I play basketball. I have girlfriends I MUST meet for lunch. I don’t make the same effort every day. And this doesn’t bother me one bit.

My hair and clothes don’t define me.

And what does all of this have to do with travel, the theme I’m writing about this month? I’m glad you asked!

Here’s the quote for this week:

“When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” – William Least Heat-Moon (pen name of William Lewis Trogdon)

Stop and let that sink in.

“You are what you are right there and then.”

Fantastic. And I love this part:

“No yesterdays on the road.”

When we’re in a new place, with new people, they have no idea what we wore last week. They don’t know if we’re kind or cruel or a little loopy, either. There’s a weird kind of beauty in the not knowing, I think. Travel gives us space, a freedom to be our truest self.

I would argue, though, that the purpose of finding this self when we travel is to bring her home with us, to continue to pursue, and fully define, our own sense of self. Our values. Our important things. Instead of worrying about whether we “should” wear lipstick to the bus stop, we need to figure out if we want to wear lipstick to the bus stop. That, my friends, is the key. And it’s harder than it sounds.

But when we answer to our truest self, we’ll be one step closer to making decisions that are right for us. And one big step away from worrying about what anyone else thinks. Maybe it’s time to book a flight.

Have you experienced this kind of freedom when you’ve traveled? Leave your thoughts in the comments, or link up if you’d like to write your own post on these Wise Words.

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Living With Intention

balance, friendship, life, Wise Words, , , ,

It started when my son began Kindergarten.

“Just wait,” people said. “Wait until he gets to high school. You won’t believe how fast the time flies.”

“Enjoy them,” said the older ladies in the supermarket, as my toddler screamed and wiggled in the seat strap and my baby struggled to be seen in the cart, nestled between the Cheerios and peanut butter.

And they were right, of course. The time is flying.

But it’s not just our offspring’s childhood that can slip by, suddenly gone, without us comprehending where it went or how that happened or savoring the difficult moments along with the lovely, sunnier ones.

It’s friendships.

And meaningful work.

It’s faith.

And marriage.

Emerson said it this way in his essay, Prudence.

“Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live.”

What a terrible truth.

We hear it often, don’t we, that we must live in the moment? So often, we roll our eyes at this advice and wonder how on earth we can live with intention and focus on the Important Things when we have diapers to change and groceries to purchase and laundry to wash.

And the truth is, the wonderful truth, that we can’t do it all. We can drop that notion as quickly as we picked it up. We can work. We can mother. We can be wives. We can do the Important Things but we must take one simple and critical step first:

We must identify what is truly important to us.

And your Important Things won’t be the same as my Important Things.

When we know what’s most Important to us, it’s much easier to choose. It’s easier to let the laundry go for a day, or skip a soccer game for a much-needed laugh with 4 of the funniest friend a girl could ask for.

What’s worth Living with Intention to you?

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Underoos and Life Perspective

perspective, travel, Wise Words

When I was in the 7th grade and just barely out of Underoos, it felt like everyone at school knew I still had Wonder Woman panties scrunched up in the back of my dresser drawer. My 7-12 middle/high school in Virginia graduated a mere 27 seniors that year. For a budding teen, the biggest implication of this microcosm was that the world felt extremely small. Jeans too short? Still sleeping in kid pajamas? Trouble with a boy? In a time when so many things were uncertain, I was sure of this: Everyone knew everything.

photo by DeusXFlorida

Imagine my surprise when we moved to North Carolina and no one knew anything. As hard as it was to leave my friends and the close community of my small school (for a slightly less-small school, with 98 graduating seniors), our move south wedged open the door to the bigger world. The kids who were popular and prized at my school in Virginia were nobodies here. It took me awhile to grasp this significance but eventually I understood that the vastness of our own importance is tiny relative to the grand scale of our incredibly big world. Big stuff for a teenager.

I’ve written before about the perspective I believe travel brings to our lives, which is why I love this quote by French writer Gustave Flaubert:

“Travel makes one modest, you see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.”

We don’t need to go to Paris, France to experience this truth. Paris, Texas will do. In fact, I’d argue that you might not even need to leave your hometown. Spend some time volunteering—at a nearby food pantry or old-folks home—and you’ll step into a world adjacent to the one you inhabit every day. A world that never knew you existed, doesn’t hear the same gossip, doesn’t care about your social status or lack thereof. It’s eye-opening.

I learned early that my problems weren’t as big as they seemed, and that, shockingly!, although the neighbors may care, the wider world could give a rip about how my hair looks or what brand of jeans I wear. It was an enduring lesson for a 13-year old girl, and one I’m fortunate to be reminded whenever I step outside of my own tiny place in this very large world.

How has travel helped you gain perspective? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments, or write your own post about these Wise Words.

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