Monthly Archives: December 2008

How to Have A Peaceful Holiday

christmas, contentment, family

The thing is, life’s all about expectations.  I’ve found this to be true, regardless of the situation.

Example:  Sibling relationships

  • Expect top notch.  Get bottom rung. Disappointed.
  • Expect little, other than love.  Receive a smidge more. Connected and content.

What a difference an expectation levels makes!

This idea rings true for the holiday season as well.  As Christmas approaches, I watch the frenzy around me and sometimes wonder why we get so caught up in the rush.  I know, of course, that there is more to do than time allows.  If that weren’t true, the Christmas cards I ordered in October wouldn’t still be sitting on my desk.  I wouldn’t have been making the hard tack candy to give to teachers early in the afternoon on the very day I needed to give it to them.  I would’ve baked those cut-out cookies by now.  Needless to say, I’m not exempt from holiday to-do lists, chock full of things I haven’t gotten to yet.

The difference is that this year I don’t feel a bit of stress about it.  This hasn’t always been the case; high stress has been the hallmark of many previous holidays.  This year, however, something changed.  Instead of expecting perfection, I just expected my best—and the two are far from the same.  Allowing myself that bit of space created a sense of peace I didn’t expect.  Bonus peace!  Sure, I wish my cards were in the mail.  But the point of the cards is to connect with friends, and I’ve realized that will happen regardless of the day they’re stamped by the post office.

Shopping is another thing that was easier this year.  In a complete score, I lucked out and was able to do my black Friday shopping on Thanksgiving night, sitting there in my cozy pajamas with a glass of wine in my hand.  A late night e-mail from Amazon advertised the camera I’d had my eye on—the only big thing on my black Friday list—on sale for $50 less than any of the ads I’d seen.  SOLD.  I slept in, avoided the masses at the stores, and headed for the local tree-lighting ceremony that evening, complete with a visit from Santa and free hot cider.  Stress-free, I tell ya.

The other difference this year is that, somewhere along the line, I became truly thankful.  I always thought I was, but I guess this year my thankfulness grew up.  In appreciating where I am, and not focusing on where else I could be (or what else I could be getting done), I have inadvertently released myself from some of the traditional holiday mayhem.  And why, you ask, am I so darn thankful?

Probably for many of the same reasons you are.  I am grateful to the core of my being for my warm home.  I am elated that my children are healthy.  I love that they’re learning to make good choices.  My children’s teachers show up day after day and nurture them, and teach them, and guide them when I’m not around.  I’m eternally grateful for them.  Hunger is just a word around here.  When my kids complain that they’re hungry, I’m thankful that they have never known how it feels to be truly hungry.  I’m thankful that my world doesn’t involve making a choice between feeding them or buying them winter boots.  I’m thankful for my husband, my friends, my family, my faith.  And I’m here to tell you, there’s nothing stressful about that.

This post was written for Parent Blogger Network‘s blog blast, which is sponsored this time by FFDA, a non-profit organization that offers support and assistance for folks who are feeling overwhelmed, both at the holidays and all year long.

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Butter or Margarine?

christmas, food, NY Times

All those many years ago when I first met my girlfriend Janet, she was already a bona fide baker.  I was still more of a baker-in-the-making.  These days, I bake a mean apple pie, but back then I was still one of those people who used margarine in my cookies.  Not to worry.   Janet set me straight on the finer points of using butter and, not wanting to produce inferior cookies, I ponied up the cash and starting baking with the real stuff.

Fast forward almost ten years and I read Michael Pollen’s In Defense of Food, which convinced me, thoroughly, of the horrors of margarine.  Although I’m generally not one to hop on anybody’s bandwagon, his arguments rang true to me and I jumped aboard.  While I admit to still buying diet pepsi (I know!), and the occasional goldfish, it’s more because 1) I’m weak and 2) I’m weak.  I still think he’s right.

So yesterday, when I read Julia Moskin’s column in the NY Times, singing the praises of butter in cookies, I expected some sort of nod to Pollen.  But no.  The article is clearly a baking aficionado’s perspective; not even close to a health nut’s reasoning.  It’s all about how your cookies won’t hold their shape if you dare use margarine, or even, heaven forbid, if you use butter that’s been incorrectly melted or creamed.  As if!  Please know that if you ever deign to eat my cookies, I have probably melted the butter incorrectly.  There’s also a really good chance I didn’t cream it long enough, either.  However, you can still consider yourself lucky that you’re only getting fatter because I used butter and not dying because I used margarine.  I mean, that’s a pretty big gift right there.  Please don’t expect the shape of my cookies to be just so or to receive them in a fancy bag with a ribbon on top.  I am busy people.  I could be handing out Oreos (speaking of non-food).

Nonetheless, I laughed out loud at the comment of Robin Olsen, who runs cookie-exchange.com and is quoted at the end of Moskin’s piece.  Olsen’s thoughts:  “I can tell a margarine cookie as soon as I bite into it.  And then I put it right down.”

Well just tell it like it is, Ms. Olsen!  I love that.  But I won’t send you any cookies.  Too risky.

As for the rest of you, I hope you enjoy whatever it is you’re baking this Christmas!

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