In those first few overwhelming weeks of motherhood, I stumbled through the grocery one day, unshowered and barely conscious, only to run into a neighbor. She was already a mom, three times, and was one of the few people who really seemed to understand how hard it was. Most of my friends with new babies made it look so easy, and I felt very alone in my ineptness and frustration.
She gave me three pieces of advice, all of which I held dear for quite some time, but only one of which remains with me today. “Just remember,” she said, “every phase is just that, a phase. It, too, shall pass.” Thank heavens she was right.
And now, as we approach the year when our son will get his driving permit—because, yes, they are crazy in this state—I am surprised at how often I still find myself chanting the mantra, “this, too, shall pass.”
There are those days, weeks, and months of calm waters, nothing ruffled, smooth sailing. But when the ones filled with the stormy tempest of teen angst and hormones blow through, I sometimes wonder how I will make it. I think of my many friends who attended boarding school and wonder if their parents were onto something.
But then the storm quells and the peace returns. And I can’t imagine my boy anywhere else but with me.
And isn’t that what this is all about? Soon, so soon, he will be off on his own instead of with me, and it’s up to me, and my husband, to best equip him for that time. How much leash? How much discipline? How high to set the bar?
I know that very soon I will look at my grown-up boy, the man he becomes, and smile. I know that this teen phase, too, shall pass, and that in the passing I will miss it.
I think maybe that’s what my kind, wise neighbor was trying to tell me.
