So you guys know that I like Diet Pepsi, even though I think Michael Pollan is right on the money.  You know that vegetables are my least favorite food group, even though I know they should be first.  You know that I think a lot about ways to help my kids have a healthy relationship with food.

But what you don’t know is that my friend, Janet, knows the exact calorie and fat count of every food ever produced.  Okay, that might be a teensy, beensy bit of exaggeration, but if I’m not sure about something food-related, she’s on my speed dial.  (Also for any fashion questions, but that’s a post for another time.)

So when Janet said she learned stuff she didn’t know when she read Eat This, Not That, I couldn’t believe it!  She learned stuff?  I knew I had to get my hands on that book.  What could it possible contain that she didn’t know?  So I popped on over to the library and took a look.  And chock-full of information, it is.  I must admit that there are some interesting tidbits, like the fact that one Original Glazed doughnut from Krispy Kreme has less fat (11 grams) and less calories (190) than one Wild Blueberry muffin by Otis Spunkmeyer (22 grams, 420 calories).  Who knew?!

All in all, I’m not a big fan of the book but I can certainly see the appeal.  It’s a very practical guide for middle-of-the-store grocery shoppers.  But most weeks I try to avoid both Krispy Kreme and Otis Spunkmeyer—those are some fat grams I’d rather save for a rainy day.

By far, the grossest part of the book was page 6, which took me right back to high school English class, the one where we read Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle.  Perhaps I’m naïve, but I left all of those disgusting thoughts about food processing back in the 80’s and I was very disturbed to find them resurrected by the little chart called “The Wrong Kind of Protein; The little ‘bonus’ ingredients the FDA allows in your food.”  Here’s a sample:

“Canned tomatoes:  Can contain up to 5 fly eggs or 2 maggots per 500 grams.”

Maggots?  Do I really need to say more?

“Peanut Butter:  Can contain up to 30 insect framents or 1 rodent hair per 100 grams.”

30 insect fragments??

“Popcorn: Can contain up to 1 rodent pellet in one sample or 2 rodent hairs per pound.”

A rodent pellet?  IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS??

Alright, Mr. President.  As long as you’re overhauling everything else, what about the FDA?  As if the peanut recall weren’t bad enough, now I have to worry about rat crap in my popcorn? Puh-lease!

This is the best argument ever for participating in CSAs and buying local.  I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to enjoy canned tomatoes again.  Uggh.  Please, please don’t tell me what you know about Diet Pepsi.  Let a girl enjoy her vice in ignorance, would you?

Enjoy the weekend everybody.  And for goodness sakes, be wary of your popcorn!

photo credits: asplosh